New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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