she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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