I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
