I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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