She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
