dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
