Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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