Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
