I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
