Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
wow bdsm is so cute
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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