So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
