I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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