Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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