Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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