I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
