when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
