First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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