Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
