i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
