Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
