I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
