so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
