We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would ride that face into the sunset
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
