3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
