good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
