Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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