If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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