i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We left the knife in your bed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
