i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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