No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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