We need to rekindle our bromance
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
