you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
