what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
