Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
