We're facebook friends in real life
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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