Pappa wants mamma naked
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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