i jhust puked up my retainher.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
