And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
