YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
