CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
