I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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