There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
high people should be assigned attendants
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
