she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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