gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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