were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
