Don't make out with my wife yet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
