Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
