we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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