For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
