"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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