u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
