the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
